I prefer to take all the responsibility to myself.

The god-indoctrinated mind has been prepared to see this as the very words of Lucifer.

I had a similar though more abbreviated experience on my mission. One where I had no attraction to my companion’s object of desire. I shut it down and turned him in. My motivation was simple fear, as was the entirety of my sexual repression. Fear of rejection. Fear of shame. Fear of inconformity with authority. Fear of failing in my stewardship. Fear of failing in my hopes for promotion/exaltation. Or perhaps simply fear of not being worthy to save souls … of having power removed from me.

We can argue about the virtues of time and place in human sexuality with it’s moral implications but this was not a fear of poor timing … this was a fear of being. From the perspective of a moral compass, I’d say it was overkill. This is first and foremost about controlling human minds as are most if not all of the “moral laws of god.”

Jonathan, I admire your reasons for their closer ties to natural human motivations as opposed to delusions of the mind.

The god-indoctrinated mind has been prepared to see this as the very words of Lucifer.

To some, it probably sounds like I’m rejecting the atoning sacrifice of Jesus. Probably because I am. I don’t see myself as fallen. From where? I don’t feel estranged. From whom? My former views were full of self-loathing taught in the guise of healing words of wisdom.

Paul Sunstone,

I’m curious whether today you see your action in coming between the two lovers to be a “sin” or a wrong?

I don’t recognize a real significance to sin other than what we give it. Sin, to me, is just something that we discourage through our religious institutions. So, no, I don’t consider what I did to be a sin or morally wrong in some absolute sense.

Aside from that consideration, it’s hard to say if I wronged them. She would say that I had. He might not. He had a girlfriend waiting at home, so he may have been grateful for my intervention in the long run (as he confided to me later).

I disagree with the grounds for reporting them (the ones I allowed the public to assume). I don’t think religious service should come at the expense of human love. I’ve known many couples who met while one or both were missionaries. They lead happy lives the last I checked.

I am unequivocally regretful for the private reasons that I turned them in. I acted childishly and defensively. I wish I had been bigger than feeling spurned by her. At the same time, I understand why I felt that way.

Well said. I probably spent too much of my time attempting to feel “godly sorrow” that I missed the opportunity to actually learn from my mistakes.

I forgot to mention that I really like the paraphrased quote you gave a couple comments back. I can really feel that dynamic working in my life. I feel much more motivated to do good things now that it is a matter of what I want rather than an arbitrary moral code.

I agree that we need to take an accounting of our actions and make real change in our lives.

Jonathan, I’ll agree that I also do the right thing for selfish reasons most of the time. I find solice in that idea as I also take into account the effects my actions may have on others and not because a church says so.

Even though our reasoning for doing the right may not coincide with the religious dogma of a overbearing church, we still end up doing whats right in the end, and thats the main thing. Its nice to know what doing the right thing doesn’t have to come from the church as that fact makes it easier for me to leave the religious mindset behind without worrying that I’m going to go out and kill babies. I’m not built that way either.

Great post. I’m really enjoying your posts and how they hit at the core of many of thoughts. I also like how you get them down on paper in such a way that I can understand my own thoughts a little better. Thank you for that.

/paranoidfr33k

I’ll agree that I also do the right thing for selfish reasons most of the time.

And I think that has to be enough, because there really is no other reason we do things. I see the moral code like a set of training wheels: they show you how to ride but eventually you have to give them up. We have to trust ourselves that our desires are good, and recognize that we can have conflicting desires.

“When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” (1 Cor. 13: 11)

Well said.

In the case of my religious upbringing, I’ve now put away the church as a childish thing. I’m thinking for myself now that that is invigorating. Its nice to know that I have it in me to do the right thing regardless of whether I read the scriptures daily or pay my tithing, being obedient to the endless commandments and teachings of the prophets.

/paranoidfr33k

“I see the moral code like a set of training wheels: they show you how to ride but eventually you have to give them up.”

I was floored to read that because I have used exactly the same metaphor when discussing morality with young people — yet, I frequently get uncomprehending looks in response to it. How wonderful to find someone I share this view of moral codes with!

I also like the analogy of the crossing a river on a ferry. Once the river is crossed, you leave the ferry behind.

I also basically second what you say about where your moral compass comes from and what guides your behavior.

Very nice post.