So here’s my pithy response to the conundrum of finding meaning after Mormonism:

Daniel Dennett has this saying that “if you make yourself small enough you can externalize everything” … and though it’s not his intended meaning, it occurs to me that by giving up the Mormon myth we have simultaneously found ourselves to be much, much smaller _and_ much, much larger. In this new found view of self we are no longer so much agents that work on the universe, but integral to the universe. We are the universe.

Kind of new-agey sounding, I realize. But nevertheless, we do not disappear when we die, we just change material states … we get reorganized and retasked.

I recall reading Carl Sagan talk about the chances of being restored to a state that is a roughly equivalent of a continuation of our current selves (the question being: will we see each other again) and he said, if I recall correctly, “why not”? Infinite means infinite. And the time it might take to come full circle is meaningless.

Mel, I’ve been pondering the smaller/larger paradox, but haven’t really had a good way to express it yet. I like how you put it. If we think about it we can define our self smaller and smaller. I am not my body. I am not my personality. I am not my thoughts. And so on until nothing is left. Or we can define our self larger and larger until it includes the universe. I need my body to exist. I need food to sustain my body. I need the earth and sun to make food. And so on until the chain of dependency ends up including everything and all time. There’s another way to include everything in our definition of self: my thoughts are a product of my brain. My brain operates on its inputs. My brain’s inputs come from the part of the universe that I perceive. The parts of the universe that I perceive are supported and influenced by the parts that I can’t perceive. So my thoughts are the product of the entire universe and everything that has come before the present moment.

Trippy.

I also just read The Heart of Understanding: Commentaries on the Prajnaparamita Heart Sutra by Thich Nhat Hanh. It made me think about death and what it really means. His view of reincarnation seemed to align with what you’re saying about being repurposed. I plan to write a review at some point.

ENK

I think it is inevitable that we go through times where we feel “empty.” It’s a sign that you haven’t stagnated – that something within you still searches and yearns for more. It is a good thing.