I’ll answer your question - the question is can you handle knowing the answer? I’ll answer at the end of my comment, for the truly curious.

Thanks for taking the time to read.

I’ve observed that most members of the church are spectacularly incurious about why people leave the Church. Sometimes I wish they would be more nosy about it so that we could talk about it and get it out of the way and get back to being friends. To be fair, I’m still caught up in the thrill of the changes so I probably like to talk about it too much. Perhaps the blog is a healthy outlet so I don’t drone on about it in conversation.

I think, culturally, we assume that people who leave the Church are one of two things: offended or sinning. In part, I think this is a defense mechanism which puts the burden of responsibility on the person leaving while protecting the Church and all of the good things that it represents for us.

The reality is that there are very few people who actually stop believing in the Church because they were offended. Someone might stop attending because they were offended, but from the many reverse conversion stories that I’ve read since my own coming out, few mention that as a determining factor. Many people lose faith over questions arising from the history of the Church and our cultural aversion to truly addressing the problematic portions of it while still insisting that we gain a testimony based partly one the Church’s history.

When a Loved One Has Let Go of the Iron Rod is a wonderful explanation of the reasons I left the Church.

I did find joy in the Church, mingled with sorrow and pain. I’ll post an example of that very soon.

I return your wishes of a good journey and hope you find much happiness in the course of your life.

Oops! I almost forgot to answer your first question. If you don’t want to have to picture me in my underwear, stop reading now.

Originally I uncreatively went with boxer-briefs since that was what I was accustomed to. Now I slightly prefer boxers. They certainly come in more fun styles and definitely feel different.

Just teasing- you don’t have to answer that.

I’ve been reading for a couple weeks now and while I’m sad that you’ve found so much unhappiness in the church and I’m sad for Lacey I’m glad that you’re still willing to support her in her beliefs and such.

I agree with your feelings of uncomfortableness in dealing with family members that are inactive for reasons that no one is willing to talk about and respect your honesty. It’s still weird to think about though. (If we’re being honest).

I can’t help but agree with your comment about doing it wrong or for the wrong reasons. It’s hard to understand someone not finding joy in comfort in something that is such an integral part of my life and brings me such happieness.

I wish you well on your journey. Like a good mormon I also hope that you come full circle and find your way back, but by your own choice. good luck.

Amber